Why Breadman Panarin Is A More Important Ranger Than Moneyman Shesterkin

   

USATSI_23377063Damn the Analytics, Full Speed Ahead with an important announcement: Artemi Panarin not only is more important to the Rangers than The Kah-Ching King Igor, but Shesterkin deserves LESS money in his next contract than The Breadman now receives.

Nor does The Maven state this lightly, if impolitely. In consultation with my most astute contract analyst, Joltin' Joe Dionisio of Santa Barbara, we clearly explain in two languages – English and Algebra – how the Shesterkin deal should work.

  1. First, the English: Shesty should not get a penny more than the Jeremy (Boston) Swayman and Jake (Dallas) Oettinger just-over $8 mil deals. Simply put, Iggy is no better than them.
  2. Now, the Algebra – which Deep Thinking Dionisio handles so well. Take it away, Joltin' Joe: "Panarin should remain the highest-paid Rangers for these reasons:

    "A. He played a full 82-game season last year and 82 games the year before.

  3. "B. Shesterkin never played more than 55 games in one season and has been averaging 55 games since he became a starter

    C. At best, Igor plays 67 percent compared to Artemi.

    D. Until Shesty learns to play an 82-game season like Breadman – which we know will never happen – he should not be allowed to hijack the Blueshirts Brass nor be allowed to break the Rangers Bank just because HE wants to be the highest-paid on the team.

  4.