Scheana Shay has been "feeling depressed" for the past six months.
The 40-year-old reality star - who became known an original cast member on the Bravo series 'Vanderpump Rules' - took part in the Fox singing competition 'The Masked Singer' earlier this year, but knew when she signed up for it that it wasn't a great idea and it left her feeling incredibly low.
Speaking on her 'Scheananigans' podcast, she said: "I have really just been feeling depressed the last six months. It was something that I kept trying to just mask and say, ‘No, I’m fine. It’ll go away'.
"But it all started around 'The Masked Singer'.
"I got asked to do the show. I immediately was like, ‘Hard pass, absolutely not.’ I didn’t care how much money they’re paying me. I was not going to go on another show on national television just to get made fun of.
"This was something that was so far out of my comfort zone. That was so scary to go on a show that’s primetime national television."
Scheana - who competed as Bat and gave a rendition of Sabrina Carpenter's hit 'Espresso' but was eliminated soon after - recalled having a "meltdown" when she left the programme and immediately fell t that she was "not good enough" for any of it.
She said: "I totally had a meltdown in my trailer. I’m like, ‘This is why I didn’t want to do this show. I’m not good enough. I get sent home first. Now everyone’s going to make fun of me.
“I just wanted to put myself out there.
"I just was like, ‘Maybe I up my meds a little bit.’ But then I started grinding my teeth a lot at night. So I’m like, ‘No, I’ll just go back to like 25 mg.’ As if that’s enough Zoloft for anyone. It’s not. I’ve learned that and I’m now at 75 mg and considering 100 mg."
Scheana was so traumatised by the whole incident that she had to consult both her psychiatrist and her therapist for help just in time for the holiday season but then she had to deal with the LA wildfires as they ripped across her hometown in January.
She added: "In that time, I was able to talk to my psychiatrist and able to talk to my therapist. Then it’s the holidays. We’re getting into Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s and then wildfires across Los Angeles
It was just a few really heavy months emotionally. Then we’re in March and the show’s airing.
“Now I really need to focus on what’s been brewing and what’s going on. Because I felt like getting sent home first was part of it — but it couldn’t be all of it."
Scheana Shay has been secretly struggling with her mental health in recent months.
“I have really just been feeling depressed the last six months. It was something that I kept trying to just mask and say, ‘No, I’m fine. It’ll go away,’” she confessed on her “Scheananigans” podcast Friday.
Shay — who turned 40 Wednesday — said during the emotional sit-down that her issues started around the time she began filming the masked singing show, “The Masked Singer.”
“I got asked to do the show. I immediately was like, ‘Hard pass, absolutely not.’ I didn’t care how much money they’re paying me. I was not going to go on another show on national television just to get made fun of,” the “Vanderpump Rules” alum said she thought to herself.
“This was something that was so far out of my comfort zone. That was so scary to go on a show that’s primetime national television.”
Shay previously told Page Six that she felt “extremely proud” of herself for having overcome that fear because she wanted to show her daughter, Summer Moon, 4, “that it’s OK to fall down and get back up.”
However, the reality star said on her podcast Friday that she realized she had internalized her struggles rather than properly address them.
“I just was like, ‘Maybe I up my meds a little bit,’ but then I started grinding my teeth a lot at night,” she reflected before noting that she started taking Zoloft, a drug used to treat depression and panic disorders.
Shay said that she is taking up to 75 mg on the medication and “considering 100 mg.”
The mom of one said that aside from the mental toll of participating on another reality show, she also struggled due to the hectic schedules of the holidays and the unexpected wildfires in Los Angeles.
The realization that she would not be returning to “Vanderpump Rules” — given that it had been rebooted with a brand-new cast — was also a factor, she said.
“Everything is great but mentally it hasn’t been,” Shay — who has also dealt with postpartum obsessive compulsive disorder in the past — further admitted on her podcast.
“I just wanted to open up about that because I feel like you could have everything in the world and still not always feel completely happy. I just wanted to normalize it.”
