Photo: Bravo
In my humble three decades navigating this planet as a female, I’ve learned not to trust a very specific demographic of fellow women: the ones who immediately and almost gleefully proclaim that they’ve never gotten along with other girls. And if they follow it up with how everyone is just so jealous of their beauty and intelligence and how all the men want them? Run the other way. This is indicative of someone who puts men at the center of their universe, viewing other women as either competition or jealous hags. Brit Eady is guilty of both these offenses, but in trying to remain dedicated to the Eileen Davidson Accords and attempting to view the Brit versus Kenya affair objectively, I’ve held my tongue. However, I think even Dame Moylan can respect me for breaking the five-episode probationary period under such extenuating circumstances, so without further ado, it’s time to talk about Brittany.
For the first time in years, RHOA has a genuinely intriguing, fourth-wall-shattering storyline that broke in the press before we had the chance to watch it unfold on camera. It’s important to note that this is all occurring amid the “reality reckoning,” coinciding with increased scrutiny on Bravo’s code of conduct (or lack thereof). With stories and testimonials from past talent regarding revenge porn, substance abuse, and the never-ending flow of alcohol on Housewives, it’s safe to say the network was running a tighter ship than usual … or at least wanted to look like it was. Based on tonight’s episode, Kenya’s firing/demotion (or whatever you want to call it because it’s not like Bravo will tell us) might have been collateral as part of the network’s damage control.
Going into the season, most of the narrative swirled around Kenya and her posterboard allegedly depicting Brit sucking dick, and within the context of the PR mess Bravo was in at the time of filming, I can see why such a move would incite drastic action from the network. What’s gotten lost in the sauce is what exactly pushed Kenya to such measures. Unfortunately for her, Kenya’s reputation as a villainous troublemaker precedes her, so as the story hit the press, the question quickly shifted from Why would Kenya retaliate that way? to How far is too far for a Housewife?
The fact that all of this began with Brit threatening gun violence against Kenya somehow became peripheral, relegated almost to rumor status as everything was “alleged” for so long. But now that it’s all playing out on-camera, we can’t ignore the one-sided nature of the beef, which is worsened by Bravo’s choice to pull Kenya’s presence on the show; without Kenya’s confessionals and perspective, Brit looks especially unhinged. In four episodes, the only things Brit can produce as a reason to dislike the veteran Housewife is Kenya asking if she is engaged or married and giving her a “pat” instead of a hug at Angela’s dinner. Somehow, Kenya’s refusal to validate these as genuine reasons for discord escalates to Brit rambling about her pistol and how Kenya needs to be respectful because this is “real life” while her husband rips her mic pack off before she can embarrass herself further.
Angela’s dinner actually begins well enough, with her and her fan (I love a prop; it’s giving Sutton’s face roller) hosting the ladies at a Bankhead restaurant that’s situated inside a bank vault. The theme is Black Excellence, with everyone (except Kenya) donning all black as the scene drips with extravagance and wealth. And it wouldn’t be a Housewives dinner without a game. They each write shady questions to pull out of a bowl, a production favorite for manufactured drama. It starts with Shamea pantomiming the sex moves she whipped out for Gerald to thank him for the Rolls Royce and slowly heats up with Porsha inadvertently revealing she might have tea on Charles without actually spilling it (I have a feeling this isn’t the last we’re going to hear about this). We get Kenya flashing the women her underwear and Porsha joking about her “moose knuckle” before Brit ruins it all with her stupid-ass question, which is, of course, about Kenya. The woman is obsessed! And not in the funny cringe way that Drew seems to be obsessed with Porsha.
Brit’s question reads: “Why are you so worried about happily married women?” Then she adds (well, she swears the author of this caveat is anonymous), “Can you speak to Brit kindly, and not with an attitude?” Kenya brushes off the question, saying Brit is trying to “have a moment” for the cameras, but Brit takes Kenya’s circumvention of the conversation personally, and you can almost see the anger rising through her body. She taunts Kenya, asking if she needs to step outside and take a break. Finally, Kenya says, “Peasants cannot come for a queen,” and Brit snaps. It’s not surprising that this comment takes things over the edge for Brit because it’s hard not to assume that she’s dealing with intense levels of insecurity based on the way she’s navigated her solo scenes thus far.
Earlier in the episode, Brit has dinner with her sister Cher. The two aren’t in the best place, with Cher having blocked Brit, and we don’t get much background on what caused the blocking, but it’s Brit’s reaction to her sister’s grievances that told me a lot about her character. Cher tries to open up about her mental health and how she feels as though Brit’s marriage supersedes her ability to connect emotionally with her sister. In her confessional, Brit somehow turns this into Cher being jealous of her “happiness” because she’s not in a relationship. Brit believes that marriage and “holding down a man” is a prize — which is especially depressing considering her husband doesn’t seem to like her all that much in the first place. Not to testify about feminism too much, especially in the world of Housewives, but I can’t help but think that Brit is suffering from internalized misogyny and projects her insecurities onto other women.
We could say that Brit is a victim of the patriarchy — I mean, who knows what that poor girl experienced as a teenage video vixen? But that’s about as far as my sympathy stretches for this grown-ass woman. At the end of the day, I’m here to watch a television show. And not just any show; we’re watching Real Housewives here. If Brit can’t handle a little coldness and a back-and-forth at dinner with one of the reigning queens of RHOA without threatening violence and referencing her gun, this might not be the show for her. Like girl, get a grip. This isn’t the Zeus network, and Natalie Nunn isn’t around the corner. It’s honestly suspicious as to why Brit wasn’t the one immediately reprimanded for such behavior.
Brit’s crash-out continues after filming wraps, and the rest of the cast unanimously agrees that her energy is incongruous with the situation. The more she goes off, the colder Kenya becomes, further igniting Brit. Kenya hops in the car with Porsha, and as they drive off, Kenya’s mic picks up their conversation. Through crackling audio, we hear her tell a shocked Porsha about Brit’s gun references, calling her “a problem” and saying that “she’s gotta go.” This is where production should’ve stepped in; no cast member, no matter how villainous (and let’s not act like production doesn’t covet a villain), should have to worry about their safety when filming. And I mean serious safety, not dodging thrown wine glasses and snatching scepters out of your face — these are bullets we’re talking about!
But Kenya’s no punk — although she might pretend to be when she’s sitting on her high horse and going on about using your words and not your hands, this Detroit Barbie can defend herself. And if production won’t protect her, we know damn well she’s going to fight fire with fire. Anyone familiar with RHOA knows that Kenya’s clapback game is something serious; from dressing up as Phaedra at Nene’s Shoe Dazzle event to showing up to Marlo’s wig launch with a marching band, she’s a stunt queen who knows how to bring questionable but still appropriate made-for-TV drama when battling her co-stars. Next week, in Kenya’s last episode of the season, she gets her lick back in what becomes the final nail in her coffin. Until then, I’m signing off with something I never thought I would say in the 16 years this show has been on the air: justice for Kenya!
• A note from Dame Brian Moylan: “The Housewives Institute has considered Ile’s petition to break the Eileen Davidson Accords, and since it is in the defense of our once and future champion Kenya Moore, it has been granted. Also, the Institute will be issuing its own post-EDA judgements of all the new peach holders in the next issue of the Housewives Institute Bulletin.”
• Brit should take notes from Angela and Shamea on how to wrap up a fight and continue to the next story line. I loved Shamea’s branch in the olive oil — it was fun and cheeky, and both women are great sports. This is what we’re trying to see, not whatever Brit is bringing to the function.
• The cracks in Porsha and Shamea’s friendship deepen by the episode as it becomes clearer that Porsha has trouble supporting her bestie. I was shocked that she claimed she didn’t recognize Shamea’s voice; it felt like a way for Porsha to belittle Shamea’s obvious talent and experience as someone who was in a girl group with Keri Hilson (we see how Porsha’s singing career panned out).
• It’s funny that Kelli brought up Drew not purchasing anything at the Balmain event but didn’t say anything about Porsha, who proudly said she wasn’t spending her attorney fees. But I really don’t care that much because I like Porsha almost as much as I like watching Drew fumble with her lies on the spot. I also love how Dennis’s text serendipitously arrived as soon as Kelli had her phone. Shout out to Kelli for sharing with the table! She’s so messy.
