Tamra Judge Knows She's Been Hard on Shannon Beador but Hit a 'Breaking Point': 'I Won't Enable Her Anymore'

Tamra Judge and Shannon Beador. Photo:Jason Mendez/Getty; Charles Sykes/Bravo via Getty
Tamra Judge is well aware that Real Housewives of Orange County fans aren't too happy with her right now.

"Oh, everyone hates me this season," the longtime Bravo star tells PEOPLE during a sit-down in New York City, admitting that she knows the anger has been coming from her treatment of costar and former friend Shannon Storms Beador over what Judge alleges—and Beador denies—is the latter’s abuse of alcohol.

The two have had ups and downs in their friendship over the years but were on solid ground when Storms Beador was arrested for a DUI and alleged hit-and-run in September 2023. They remained close in the following weeks but fell out before filming for season 18 of RHOC began in January.

"I know it looks like I'm being a bad friend to Shannon, or that I'm just attacking her for no reason. But as anyone who has someone in their lives who drinks like this will tell you, it's very frustrating to watch that person refuse to get help and just keep making the same mistakes over and over again," Judge says. "There are going to be times when you just reach a breaking point where you can't do it anymore. And that was my reality when the cameras went up."

Tamra Judge on 'Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen'.Charles Sykes/Bravo via Gett
So what exactly led up to that?

Well, as Judge explained on RHOC earlier this season, she was there for Storms Beador through the mother of three's past troubles, including her bitter divorce from former husband David Beador and her break-up with ex-boyfriend John Janssen. But that constant support took a toll.

"Throughout the 10 years that I've known her, minus the two she didn't speak to me when I wasn't on the show, her life was always in shambles," Judge tells PEOPLE. "She would call me crying, almost daily — usually inebriated late at night — and she would be riled up about this or that. And listen, I cared about her. I was her friend. I wanted to help her, but she never did anything to help herself."

"I knew she had a drinking problem, but I was too afraid to say it to her. And I'll take responsibility for that, I should have said something sooner," she notes. "But every single person on our cast called her out on her drinking, and she would fight with them and ice them out. And I was worried if I did that, she'd cut me out, too."

Shannon Storms Beador and Tamra Judge on 'Real Housewives of Orange County'.Nicole Weingart/Bravo/getty
Finally, Judge felt she had a breakthrough moment where she could be forthright.

"After her DUI, we had a long, heart-to-heart conversation and for the first time ever, I actually told her what I thought," she recalls. "I said, 'Listen, you have a drinking problem. It's time for you to get help.' And she acknowledged it, and I comforted her and encouraged her to use this rock bottom moment to really make changes in her life."

"Walking away from that conversation, I felt relief," she continues. "I thought it was going to be a turning point; that crashing your car into the side of a house with a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit would be a wake-up call. But days later, I heard she was talking about me behind my back, saying, 'Who do I think I am saying she has a problem?' and telling mutual friends of ours that other people in our cast were the real ones with drinking problems."

Tamra Judge and Shannon Storms Beador at BravoCon 2023.Greg Doherty/Bravo via Getty
The two continued to work together on their now-defunct Tres Amigas Tour, but Judge pulled out after watching Storms Beador drink there. Eventually, Judge says, after the drunken phone calls started up again and Storms Beador began to blame her accident on "the toxic people in her life," Judge hit a wall.

"It was always someone else's fault. I just lost respect [for her] and told myself, 'If she's not going to change, then I am,'" Judge says. "I couldn't do it anymore. I had to get off the train; I had to choose me. Nothing I was saying to her was helping, because she doesn't want to get help."

"I won't enable her anymore," she continues. "She won't admit that she has a drinking problem because then she will have to stop drinking."

Shannon Storms Beador and Tamra Judge on 'The Real Housewives of Orange County'.Faraone/Bravo/NBCU/getty
Storms Beador, for her part, told PEOPLE in July that her relationship with alcohol has changed since then.

"I acknowledge that I was drinking a lot — a lot — back then, but today I'm not," Storms Beador, 60, said, agreeing that she was still carrying a lot of pain from her splits. "I was using alcohol as a coping mechanism. And I know I can't do that anymore."

It's a lesson she learned, in part, from a month of "intensive outpatient programs" she did in a trauma behavioral wellness facility, which "had an alcohol component to it."

"Now, if I choose to drink when I go out, I keep it to a minimum. And one or two drinks typically is what'll happen — especially if I go on vacation," Storms Beador said, insisting it hasn't gotten beyond that. "If I get to the point where I think alcohol is negatively affecting my life, then I will address that."

Tamra Judge and Shannon Storms Beador on 'The Real Housewives of Orange County'.Nicole Weingart/Bravo/getty
But Judge isn't waiting around for that anymore.

"I have empathy for Shannon but I have no sympathy for her anymore," Judge says. "I know people make mistakes. I know plenty of people get DUIs who aren't alcoholics. And I know alcoholics struggle to come to terms with their drinking. But this has been going on for so long. and if you can get behind the wheel that drunk, run your car into a house with your dog in the car, leave the scene while covered in blood with a broken nose, broken arm, and then go back to drinking again? I can't have sympathy for that."

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Tamra Judge and Shannon Storms Beador on 'Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen'.Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU/getty
And while Judge, with her decades on television, knows how to withstand the backlash from audiences who may not understand where she's coming from, she's grateful for those who have reached out who do.

"I've heard from so many people who have been impacted by someone in their lives close to them who struggle with drinking problems. And they have said, 'Believe me, I know where you're coming from,'" Judge shares. "They've said, 'The pressure it puts on you is overwhelming. I don't blame you, that's what happened to me too.' And they've reminded me, 'If someone isn't making amends for how their drinking negatively affected you, they're not doing the work.' So it's helped me understand that I'm not wrong in my feelings. And that sometimes, all you can resort to is tough love."

The Real Housewives of Orange County airs on Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.