Rachael Kirkconnell opened up about why Matt James broke up with her, and she claimed he posted about it just “hours” afterward. The Bachelor winner also hinted at his “red flag,” and she revealed if she thinks they’ll get back together.
Four years after Matt gave his “final rose” to Rachael, he wrote an Instagram post asking God to give them strength and peace as they navigated their split. The post shocked many fans, who believed the couple was still going strong despite his choice not to propose to her in the finale.
In an interview for Call Her Daddy, Rachael addressed the breakup, which occurred while they were vacationing in Tokyo, as she explained why Matt decided to call things off.
“I don’t even know if he knew it was coming … or if it was like heat of the moment,” said Rachael. “Everything was fine the night before, we didn’t have an argument, but I was feeling very overwhelmed. I was trying so hard to find a good dinner spot for us because the spot we ended up wanting to go to was closed or something. So we were scrambling, and I was putting so much pressure on finding a good spot because he cares, like, this is, like, his career, you know, [posting about] good food spots.”
“Literally every single meal that we would have, we were filming,” Rachael explained. “On top of that, I just started my period. I felt terrible, like, just was having a rough few hours, I guess. And I remember asking him to help me find a spot and he was like, you know, ‘No.’ Like, I think he was, like, doing something else on his phone. He was like, ‘It doesn’t matter where we go. Like, we can go literally anywhere, just like pick somewhere.'”
But Rachael said she felt pressure for the restaurant to be good, and when the spot ended up being a “disappointment,” she shed one or two tears, and they “didn’t even talk” during the meal.
According to Rachael, she later hugged him but he wasn’t “very comforting.”
“He was like … ‘There was no reason for you to get upset like that.’ And he found it concerning that I got that emotional,” she said. “He just was trying to express to me like, if you get emotional about little things like this, like, what is going to happen in life when something really terrible happens? … I felt like I was being punished for crying.”
She said that Matt, just a few days earlier, told Rachael how “lucky” he was to “have me as a partner.”
Rachael shared that the next morning was good until she “annoyed” Matt by continually showing him videos on her phone. Then Rachael got annoyed when he “kind of snapped at me.” Later in the day, they spent some moments apart. When they met back up, they argued “in the street,” skipped lunch, and had a “bigger conversation” at their hotel.
“He said that, at the end of the day, there were just qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife,” she said. “Like, there are things that we aren’t compatible with, and like, the whole accountability and saying sorry and all that was really the main thing. And yeah, it was just one of those things where he, I think, just had this realization that I should want to propose to you by this time … And I told him, I said, ‘Well, I feel like after four years you should know or you should feel ready. And if you don’t then that’s not a good thing. We probably shouldn’t be together.'”
As for his breakup post, Rachael said she found out about it on a plane before takeoff when a friend texted her asking if it was real. She then saw the post — just as the plane took off.
“I don’t have any service or anything for the next twelve hours, so I’m freaking out because, you know, just got broken up with, and now, a few hours later, it’s for the whole world to see and I’m still trying to process it. I’m still in total shock,” said Rachael, who claimed he posted it “two or three hours” after the breakup.
She speculated that it was “easier” for him to make the post “like a prayer,” which “didn’t surprise” her, though she was surprised he posted it at all.
Rachael said they’ve spoken since the post, and Matt “definitely acknowledges” that the post “was not the right decision.”
Before the split, Rachael thought she and Matt were on the “same page” about getting married in the future.
“But, you know, the actions obviously weren’t there,” she said. “He said that he didn’t want to live together until we were married, and he’s a very religious man, so I was like, ‘That’s okay, I can do that,’ but at the same time, I’m a little confused because we’re still, you know, traveling together, staying in the same hotel, and it was like we were living together. Half of his stuff is still at my place in Georgia right now, but he always had an apartment in Miami or New York.”
Looking back, Rachael questions if Matt had a “fear” of “taking the next steps” despite their many conversations about having a “family and kids.” A few months ago, they apparently discussed “picking out a ring” and “wedding food.” But his decision not to live with her was “probably a red flag,” said the star, though she tried to tell herself it was okay at the time.
Rachael was then asked if she thinks they’ll reconcile.
“I don’t think I can, which is sad. I don’t think I can ‘cause I think when someone says those things that he said, you know, ‘I don’t think you’re my person. I don’t see us getting married,’ I think that’s when you have to call it quits,” she answered. “[And] just the way that he handled all of this and this post and everything, like, I forgive him, but I just don’t think I can be with someone that.”
