The reality star was slammed on social media and that's not OK.
During my pregnancy, a man who frequented the area near the office I worked in used to say the same thing every time our paths crossed: “Go home and put your feet up!." Presumably, the man meant well, but it always rubbed me the wrong way. It's probably because he wasn’t the only one offering unsolicited advice about how I should exist in my pregnant body.
I was a journalist covering prenatal health—I had a very strong grasp on the realities of what was and wasn't safe for a pregnant person to be doing. Yet, at every turn, people warned me against things both my doctor and I deemed perfectly harmless for me (like traveling, drinking a daily latte, and taking long walks).
Clearly, a lot of people in our world still think pregnancy renders someone completely helpless…and makes their bodies and actions fair game for public commentary. So, I wasn’t terribly surprised to see that Summer House star Lindsay Hubbard has found herself on the receiving end of this very thing.
Hubbard, who recently announced her first pregnancy, is set to appear on the show’s upcoming season, which films this summer. If you’re unfamiliar with Summer House, it’s a Bravo reality show featuring New York City residents who venture to a house in the Hamptons every weekend. There’s lots of partying that goes on in the house and yes, many of the stars do their fair share of drinking.
Presumably, Hubbard will be avoiding alcohol while partaking in the rest of the fun—and what’s wrong with that? After all, Hubbard’s ex-fiancé, Carl Radke, has appeared on several seasons of the show while sober. People didn’t seem nearly as concerned about his choice to be alcohol-free while living in a party house.
But when Hubbard posted an Instagram shot of herself and her baby bump, which appears to have been taken at the house where they film the show, people had some thoughts. One user writes: “Shouldn’t be a summer house. Doesn’t make sense with all the crazy partying.” Another adds: “Respectfully, not sure why you would go back into a party house? You’re in a different era, sister.” And yet another adds: “Yeah time to step back from the show and devote some time to just mother cubing.”
Insert massive eye roll here.
Hubbard—and a lot of other commenters—aren’t having it. “WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?!? I have never seen so many people wondering how a pregnant woman could possibly still go on a weekend getaway with her friends whilst baking a Bebe,” one commenter writes. “Is she supposed to be at home this whole time? Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen? If she feels great with energy during her pregnancy holy moly go have fun with ya frands. What year is this?!?”
To that, Hubbard replies, “no seriously it is beyond confusing.”
She’s right: It is confusing. It’s confusing that despite how far we’ve come in pregnant people advocating to be seen as just..,.people, as much as we’ve opened up discussions about what expectant mothers are capable of, as many times as we’ve spread messages about the importance of trusting people to make their own choices about their bodies and families, we’re still finding ourselves deep in this culture of judging and policing every single thing pregnant people do.
The whole “barefoot and pregnant” trope is still somehow alive and kicking harder than an active baby, which is, as Hubbard says, confusing—and also frustrating and annoying.
This isn’t just an issue of judging Hubbard for daring to have fun, or leave the house at—gasp—nighttime, or go to a few parties while growing a human. Filming Summer House is Hubbard’s job, and a major source of her income. Are we really about to shame an expectant mother for earning her money? Wait, of course we are because moms are shamed for working (or not working for pay) all the time.
Hubbard may have signed on for another season of the show to earn more money; she may have done it because she simply enjoys being on television; she may have done it to have one last carefree summer with friends before she enters parenthood. She may have even signed on for the reality show before she learned she was pregnant, for all we know. The point is, she has her reasons, and none of them are our business.
No one has to explain the choices they make when they are pregnant, unless those choices are truly dangerous. As someone who has been writing about pregnancy for a decade, I feel pretty confident in saying that filming a reality show, even if that reality show involves a decent amount of party-going, does not meet that criteria.
Of course, Hubbard is not the only person who has faced this type of unnecessary pregnancy scrutiny for simply living her life. I’ll never forget the time I attended a very close friend’s wedding while visibly pregnant. I went with the rest of the wedding party to an afterparty, and I can't count the number of strange (or downright dirty) looks I received for simply being out at night while pregnant. At one point, when I got thirsty and approached the bar, the bartender scowled at me and snapped, “Water, I assume?” before I could place my order (which was, in fact, for a glass of water).
Sure, pregnancy can make you tired and achy and hot and irritable, but it doesn’t mean you have to spend nine months sequestered in the house. In fact, I think it’s a great idea to socialize and get out and about before you welcome your child—because while parenthood doesn’t end your life, it definitely changes it in nearly every way, and socialization may well take a backseat once that baby is out in the world.
What Hubbard is doing (making money, furthering her career as a reality star and influencer, spending time with friends, enjoying a fun summer) isn’t just safe—it’s smart. And no one has a right to police her (or any other pregnant person’s) behavior.
