Monica Garcia took to her Instagram story to make a scroll of concerns she has for current Real Housewives of Salt Lake City personality Britani Bateman.
The upcoming host of E!‘s House of Villains began by telling Britani, “I don’t even know you,” while simultaneously shading her for how she’s navigating her freshman season. “I am going to keep this simple, factual, and to the point,” claimed the one-season wonder at the beginning of her 6 minute rant.
Monica hates Heather, in case you forgot:
“I am not surprised at all that Heather Gay‘s friend is accusing me of having a burner account.” To Britani, Monica said, ‘That was last season, baby girl.'” Britani was advised by Monica to focus on her “current “fake storyline.”
In the MOST condescending tone, Monica’s soliloquy continued. “I want to come from a place of concern. Instead of concerning yourself with me, I’m going to point these concerns out to you so we can properly redirect.”
According to Monica, the “real problem” is Britani “deflecting” her real issues. She believes Britani’s more pertinent issues are as follows …
“Number one. Your ratings. Girl. I don’t know if you knew but they are series lows. SERIES LOWS. I really think you need to focus on your ratings. That’s a problem.”
“Number two. Securing your spot for next season as a ‘friend of.’ That should be something you’re working towards. Maybe if you have a PR person or manager, they can spin this into a good thing. Because, you got demoted for lying about your storyline.”
“Number three. The fact that the only reason you were hired is because of Jared Osmond. The show didn’t want you, you know?! They wanted him. Ooof, girl. He was hired. You just had to come with him.”
“Number four.” Monica continued to shadily struggle Britani’s relationship with Jared, “He’s dragging you on this internet.” She reminded her followers that Britani said “on national tv that [Brittany] chose [Jared] over her children.”
“You might want to clean up on aisle ‘I’m a liar ten.’
Regarding her how her relationship with Jared is blowing up in her face, Monica suggested, “You may want to get ahead of that. Especially since you sacrificed your kids.”
Number five. Monica went into full Mormon Mafia LARPing mode when she warned Britani about Mary Cosby not liking her. “You need to be scared. She don’t miss.” Monica clicked her tongue and made a gun shot gesture with her hands.
Monica wondered, “I don’t know how I beat out all those concerns that are very valid.”
Final thoughts:
Monica concluded with enthusiastic shade. “I feel really good about this.”
“I’m not going to be one of your fake storylines. You gotta stop doing that. People can see right through it. It could affect your job. Oh, wait. It already did. You got demoted.” Monica advised Britani “self reflect” as it would be a “good thing.”
“And maybe tackle that liiiiiiiiiist” prodded Monica while magnifying her vocal fry “before putting me on it.” Chipperly, she concluded, “I hope you have a really good weekend.”
“Also, you should stick to singing. Don’t quit your day job.”
