The last time we spoke to relationship guru Mel Schilling, she was in the middle of her six-month chemotherapy cycle. Opening up with great bravery she told us things were “getting tough” as she navigated a stage three colon cancer diagnosis. Now, as we sit down for an exclusive chat, there is a sense of relief and gratitude from the Married At First Sight expert, following what must have been a dark time for her and her family.
“I’m doing well. I’m feeling strong and healthy. It’s been an incredible year of ups and downs, and I’m pretty happy to have seen the end of it, actually,” she says, with a deep exhale. Mel, 52, was diagnosed with colon cancer in December 2023 and, after finishing a gruelling period of chemo last July, she has finally been given the news she’s been dreaming of – her cancer is officially in remission
“I was spending some time in Australia and went to see a local oncologist, who had my scans. He was so positive and told me the cancer was in remission, which was a surprise,” Mel recalls. “My sister was there with me and we both just couldn’t believe it. We went back home and popped open a bottle of champagne, while dancing around our apartment.”
Throughout this emotional journey, the Australian – who has relocated permanently to London – has been supported by her “rock”, husband Gareth Brisbane, and their 10-year-old daughter Maddie. Recalling the moment she told her other half the good news, Mel continues, “I called Gareth to tell him and he just burst into tears. We both did, it was amazing and emotional.”
Talking with refreshing honesty, Mel admits that her remission means she can finally process her cancer journey properly. “When I was told I was in remission, it was like my shoulders dropped and I finally allowed myself to feel it. It’s like I’d been holding my breath for a year, telling myself, ‘It’s going to be OK, it’s going to be OK’ – and now I could finally just breathe.”
Mel’s shock diagnosis came after she suffered from extreme stomach pain and found herself totally
unable to eat or go to the toilet. After being wrongly diagnosed with constipation twice, she was finally given the devastating diagnosis of colon cancer. Ever since, Mel has been candidly sharing her experience with the disease, chemotherapy and recovery via social media, often through inspiring videos.
As terrifying as it must have been, Mel has remained amazingly positive throughout her illness – something which, she admits, has been to her detriment at times. “One of the things about me is, I am an eternal optimist, and that’s usually a strength. During chemo it was definitely a strength. But I was optimistic to an extreme, to the point where I was probably in denial,” she can admit now.
“There were quite serious conversations going on, but I refused to engage in any talk of ‘negative outcomes’. That was just my coping mechanism and it meant that when upsetting things were happening, I wasn’t really allowing myself to go there. But now, I’m finally processing this emotionally taxing year.”
Doting mum Mel says her daughter Maddie has been her absolute “cheerleader” during this journey, but admits she tried to protect her by keeping intricate details of her health battles from the youngster.
“Maddie understood enough, when I was having chemo and she knew I’d be very emotional in the days following it.
I’d have a lot of tears and difficulty walking at times. So she was definitely aware.
“But it was hard. I remember one time, she came running into my bedroom to show me a dance that she’d made up – chip off the old block,” laughs Mel. “But I didn’t even have the energy to watch her dance and that just broke
my heart, because we bond over things like that, and I just couldn’t.”
Feeling stronger and relishing it, Mel is determined to make up for lost time when it comes to her family. The relationship expert has been with husband Gareth, who hails from Northern Ireland, for 13 years. They tied
the knot in 2018 with an intimate Bali wedding.
Gareth has been a pillar of support for Mel and she believes it’s now time to inject some romance back into their relationship after an intense year. “I can’t imagine getting through this process without him. He really stepped in and took a lot of things off my plate. Even small decisions like what I’m going to have for lunch became tough, but he intuitively knew to help.
“Our relationship as a couple has taken a backseat for the last 12 months as we’ve really focused on health and reshuffling family life to make everything work. But now we’re focusing on us as a couple again. It’s
one of our priorities for 2025 – to have more date nights and quality time together. I need to take the advice I’m always dishing out to couples!”
Speaking of Mel’s stellar relationship advice, she has been a staple on both the UK and Australian versions of Married At First Sight for almost a decade now. And last year, she didn’t pull back from work throughout her cancer treatment – quite the opposite.
“I know it’s not for everyone, but my work has been my absolute saviour. I needed to keep doing that to still feel like me,” says Mel, who recently appeared on MAFS UK , which aired last autumn.
While she may have put on a glamorous display for the cameras alongside fellow experts Charlene Douglas and Paul C. Brunson, Mel admits it was not easy. “There were definitely times when I came off set and I was in tears, or I was vomiting. It was hard.”
Despite MAFS being a show that usually brings her family together as they watch it on the sofa at home,
Mel says watching this season back proved a stark reminder of just how much she was going through behind the scenes, both physically and mentally.
“I found it tough to watch back on TV. It was bittersweet because I didn’t look or sound like myself. I noticed that I wasn’t speaking up or giving things my full attention. I didn’t have that energy. Gareth found it tough, too. He was like, ‘It just isn’t you.’” She adds, heartbreakingly, “I think it was the first time we realised I actually looked sick.”
