Jenn Fessler Begs Andy Cohen for a Spot on RHONJ: “Tell Me What to Be and I’ll Be It”

The Real Housewives of New Jersey may be on pause, but Jenn Fessler is doing anything but staying quiet. The part-time Jersey girl made a headline-snatching appearance on Reality Court this week — and let’s just say, her message to Andy Cohen couldn’t have been clearer: she will do anything to keep her spot on the show.

And she wasn’t whispering it either.

In what can only be described as a chaotic audition tape disguised as a talk show appearance, Jenn Fessler made a full-throttle plea for her return to RHONJ, complete with wild declarations, backhanded digs, and just a pinch of potential self-destruction.

“I am funny and no one else is. I am smart and no one else is,” Fessler joked(?) before admitting, “I really don’t believe that but that’s what you guys are telling me.”

And it only escalated from there.

“I definitely brought something different to Jersey — I am able to laugh at myself, but I at least try to stop and listen. And I think that’s important for the Housewives franchise. I’m older, like we talked about. I don’t have to worry about my stupid f*cking kids.”

Yes, you read that right. No school drop-offs. No diaper duty. Just Botox, extensions, and chaos.

“I’m big into plastic surgery. You never know what’s going to happen to my face on the season. It can change… I’ll change the hair color. I’ll do anything — anything for Housewives. Tell me what you want me to be, Andy Cohen, and I’ll be that for you.”

And then came the moment that left jaws on the floor.

“Define me, Andy Cohen. I’ll kll a btch. I’ll f*cking change my face. My body. Shoot myself. Anything.”

Desperate? Yes. Entertaining? Debatable.

But let’s not forget: Jenn Fessler’s commitment to Bravo isn’t just talk. She famously torched her 20-year friendship with former RHONJ star Siggy Flicker by cozying up to Margaret Josephs — the very woman who helped push Siggy off the show after inserting herself into Siggy’s husband’s ex-wife’s business. Housewives chess, not checkers.

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So, is Jenn’s over-the-top pitch enough to win her that coveted full-time apple (or in Jersey’s case, a wine glass)? Will Andy bite? Only time will tell.

But one thing’s for sure — Jenn Fessler is ready to bleed for Bravo. Literally.