The first thing that Countess Luann wants me to know about the art of seduction, she says, is that “women really call the shots.” We’re in the sitting room of a rented Manhattan townhouse and Luann de Lesseps, wearing full glam, a terry cloth bathrobe, and matching slippers, has just returned from a quick cigarette and Diet Coke break. Here, she refers me to the lyrics of her classic camp song “Chic C’est La Vie”: Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest in the land? / I guess it’s not his call.
“It’s your call,” she says.
I’ve asked the reality star to give me dating advice because, in case you haven’t noticed, she’s on something of a tear. She made waves this winter in the Bravoverse after rumors flew that she hooked up with Southern Hospitality’s Joe Bradley, 28, who was dating Summer House’s Danielle Olivera at the time. In March, she ignited a tabloid frenzy by lunching with Mary-Kate Olsen’s ex-husband, Olivier Sarkozy, 55. And for the chronically online demographic, there was last summer’s flirty selfie with controversial podcaster Adam Friedland, 37.
“I think it’s being fearless at this point,” she says of dating at age 59. “It’s the best decade for me personally in terms of how free I feel. When you’re happy and feel free, that changes the game.”
In a moment when young people are having less sex, and the dating apps we’ve relied on are letting us down or locking us in rose jail, it’s electrifying to revisit de Lesseps’ on-camera romances. “I’m always in trouble with the guy on the show,” says the twice-divorced star, who was a staple on Real Housewives of New York City until it was rebooted in 2023. On RHONY, she actually got real about how she — a former geriatric nurse — bootstrapped her way to Europe, where she snagged her ex-husband, Count Alexandre de Lesseps. (They fell in love at first sight at a chalet in Gstaad, even though her boyfriend-of-the-moment was also there.) And she was the only castmate who seemed to intuitively embrace post-divorce life, whether she was picking up “the pirate” in St Barths; canoodling with businessman Harry Dubin, an ex of multiple co-stars; or embarking on a seven-month marriage with Tom D’Agostino, another castmate’s former flame.
In the past year, de Lesseps and her dating exploits have featured in a series of spinoff shows — and she’s still gloriously devoid of shame. As her castmate Kelly Bensimon observed while watching de Lesseps sashay her way through a disco-themed party full of eligible bachelors on The Real Housewives Legacy: Girls Trip: “Watching Luann go around a room is like watching a pinball. Every ding is a new guy. So ding, ding, ding, ding… and she always wins!” (She did, in fact, get lucky that evening.) And she exhibited that same energy on last summer’s Luann and Sonja: Welcome to Crappie Lake, in which the two descended on a small Illinois town with the same fervor and friskiness of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie in The Simple Life.
Over the next few months, she’s channeling what she’s learned about love into a cabaret show, Marry, F, Kill!, titled after the same-named party game, which her fans love to bring up in Q&A segments. The packed crowd at her London performance on June 2 quickly went viral. As one enthusiastic tweet read, “While J Lo cancels her tour, Lu’s performing for sold out audiences.”
De Lesseps would love to parlay Marry, F, Kill! into a dating show or a sex-and-dating advice book. “I think it’d be really helpful to women,” she says, adding that she wouldn’t mind being the next Golden Bachelorette herself. “To have the network put together a group of men specifically for me? Bring them on!”
Not that she has ever, or will ever, need help finding a man. “When you’re confident and feel good and fabulous, the whole world is going to believe it,” she explains of her approach. “That draws people to you.”
Below, the Countess shares her best dating tips and tricks, from Bed Bath & Beyond divorcés to the biological perks of being a cougar.
