“How can this be happening to ME? I’m Jax Taylor” – Private podcast recording reveals Jax spiraling over Brittany Cartwright’s affair with his friend, blaming drugs, alcohol, and everything but himself as he raged with son Cruz nearby - suong

The Valley‘s Jax Taylor still blames his violent, abusive rage on Brittany Cartwright sleeping with Julian Sensley.

During an appearance on Richard Taite’s podcast, the self-proclaimed Number 1 Guy in the Group detailed the night he lost all control of his life.

What happened that night, according to Jax:

The former Vanderpump Rules villain admitted his violent displays happened when Cruz was close by. “He’s obviously going to hear about it one day. He was in the other room when I threw the barstool and the table.”

“If I could go back and change one thing in my life, that would be it. The way I handled that was anger, rage, the fact that I just couldn’t deal. Again, the drugs and the alcohol. I saw red and I saw nothing else.”

“How can this be happening to ME? I’m Jax Taylor.”

“The fact that it was my friend she hooked up with. The reason I got so upset is that I know the guy. He was a friend of mine that she was sleeping with for months.”

“As a guy, I brought this guy into my circle. He was my friend. To me, it was like, ‘Who do I be mad at?!’ Do I be mad at her, do I be mad at him, or do I be mad at myself?”

As Jax got louder and more heated, he declared, “I’m mad at myself. Why? Because I pushed her away to this guy. That’s what I did.”

“I can look back now; I made peace with it.” Before, Jax was so mad he “couldn’t even breathe.”

“It’s important to me to have Brittany think highly of me, the father of her child. Not to be in a relationship again. Not to be married again. But, to care about me, as the father of her son. My goal is to be the person she wants me to be.”