Joan Vassos made her debut as the star of The Golden Bachelorette on Wednesday during the series premiere of the spin-off on ABC.
The 61-year-old wide from Rockville, Maryland, shared the story of her late husband John, who died of pancreatic cancer in early 2021.
'John and I met in Ocean City, Maryland in 1983. I was 20 years old, he was 21. When John and I first fell in love, It was all about family. We had a joyous, loving household with a lot of people in it -- filled with love,' Joan said as images showed her and John enjoying family life.
Joan gushed to the camera about his special qualities.
'When you walked into a room, John made you feel like you were the only person there with him. He just had this knack. He just made life fun. He made me feel visible every day. Best 33 years ever,' she said.
Joan Vassos made her debut as the star of The Golden Bachelorette on Wednesday during the series premiere of the spin-off on ABC
Joan also recalled John's rapid decline after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and her denial.
'It's a terrible, terrible cancer. He went from 220 pounds to 120 pounds. I, for some reason, was living in a dream world. He was dying and I was pretending it wasn't happening. I just couldn't accept that he wasn't going to be here anymore,' she said
Joan then emotionally described the night John died.
'I went in at, like, 1 A.M., he was alive. I went back and I tried to get another little bit of sleep, and I came back around three, and he... He was dead. He had died and I wasn't there with him, which I felt terrible about, but once again, I thought he was going to live,' she said.
Joan after being shown leaving flowers at John's grave said that no one was going to replace John, but she had room in her heart for a new love.
'I really want to fall in love. It's a crazy feeling, but I know I'm not scared anymore. I am ready. Let this journey begin. Bring on the man, I am ready to find love,' Joan said.
Show host Jesse Palmer, 45, then met up with Joan as she was introduced to her suitors.
Joan stood outside the iconic Bachelor Mansion looking stunning in a sparkling gown as the men pulled up.
The 61-year-old wide from Rockville, Maryland , shared the story of her late husband John, who died of pancreatic cancer in early 2021
The ABC show displayed photos of John having fun with his family
Joan was showing bringing flowers to a cemetery
'I went in at, like, 1 A.M., he was alive. I went back and I tried to get another little bit of sleep, and I came back around three, and he... He was dead. He had died and I wasn't there with him, which I felt terrible about, but once again, I thought he was going to live,' she said
Pascal Ibgui, a 69-year-old charming Frenchman who lives in Chicago, impressed Joan with his accent and suave demeanor.
'Pascal makes me feel hopeful. I've been wooed tonight by a Frenchman. It's like a dream come true,' Joan said.
Kim Buike, 69, a retired Navy captain arrived in full uniform and Joan was visibly impressed.
'I do love a man in uniform, I have to say,' Joan said.
Kim shared his own story of being a widow and ready to open his heart again.
Kelsey Toussant, a former contestant from The Bachelor who is engaged to Joey Graziadei, surprised Joan when she arrived and introduced her father, Mark.
'These men are way better than I even thought they would be. I feel so lucky,' Joan said.
She added in a confessional: 'I used to feel like I was selfish, wanting more for myself. And I don't feel that way anymore. I mean, you have to be selfish sometimes. I feel like this journey was made for me now.'
Pascal Ibgui, a 69-year-old charming Frenchman who lives in Chicago, impressed Joan with his accent and suave demeanor
Kim Buike, 69, a retired Navy captain arrived in full uniform and Joan was visibly impressed
Kelsey Toussant, a former contestant from The Bachelor who is engaged to Joey Graziadei, surprised Joan when she arrived and introduced her father, Mark
Mark smiled while stepping out of the limo to meet Joan
Joan previously competed on The Golden Bachelor featuring Gerry Turner, 73, but left in week three due to a family emergency.
After getting to know the guys during the cocktail party, Joan shockingly walked away during the first rose ceremony after getting upset over having to send six of the men home.
'I really don't want to hurt people's feelings,' Joan said. ' It's going to be awful sending any one of these guys home.'
She ended up walking out of the room in the middle of the rose ceremony.
'Take your time, you are doing great,' Jesse said while said consoling her.
'I'm sorry,' Joan said when she returned to the men. 'It's harder than I thought it would be. I know that it was a lot to leave your friends and family at home and come here and pause your life.'
Joan told the men she let go that they should be proud of being brave enough to come on the show and that it would be a turning point and would help them find love in their own lives.
'If you leave you have already won,' Joan told them. 'If you leave, you have shown the world that you have heard and you have a sense of adventure and that you are looking for love and that you're doing it in your golden years.'
Joan gave out roses to Charles King, Kim, Pascal, Jack Dan, Gary, Mark, Bob, Jordan; Jonathan Tone, 61, a sales manager from Riverwoods, Illinois; Guy Gansert, 66, an ER doctor from Reno; Gil Ramirez, 60, an educator from Mission Viejo, California; Charles 'Chock' Chapple, 60, an insurance executive from Wichita, Kansas; Christopher Stallworth, 64, a contractor from West Babylon, New York; Gregg Lassen, 64, a retired university vice president from Longboat Key, Florida; Charles Ling, 66, a retired financial analyst from Philadelphia; and Michael Stevens, 65, a retired banking CEO from Denver. The rest of the men were sent home.
Joan stood outside the iconic Bachelor Mansion looking stunning in a sparkling gown as the men pulled up
Jessa Palmer hosted the two-hour series premiere on ABC
'I'm sorry,' Joan said when she returned to the men. 'It's harder than I thought it would be. I know that it was a lot to leave your friends and family at home and come here and pause your life'
The men listened to Joan ahead of the rose ceremony
Joan after composing herself started offering roses
Joan got candid with People before the series premiere about being a widow and learning to re-navigate life after her husband's tragic death.
'My husband passed away during COVID and I really didn't embrace the whole mourning thing,' she told the outlet. 'I was in charge of being strong. I just buckled down and ignored it.'
Trying to accept her devastating loss, the mother-of-four tried attending group therapy but struggled due to the pandemic. And when she found herself catching feelings for other men on the show, she knew she 'had to face it.'
She said of her grief: 'It was in my face that I was feeling really guilty, honestly, about having feelings for somebody else. I almost felt like I was cheating on John, which is crazy because he's passed away.'
Joan explained that prior to her husband's death, he told her that he didn't want her 'to be alone' and heartbreakingly suggested she find love again one day.
'I want you to find somebody. You are the greatest wife in the world. I don't want you to be alone. I want you to find somebody,' she recalled John's words.
The school administrator from Maryland told the outlet she initially felt 'uneasy' about moving on after 32 years of being in a loving marriage, but psychiatrists of The Golden Bachelorette helped her.
'They said, 'You don't have to let go of John. Picture it like this: you have two balloons, one in each hand, and John is in a balloon in this hand, and your potential person that you're going to fall in love with in this hand. You don't have to let go of him from this hand to pick this one up and have a life with this one,'' she explained.
'I really want to fall in love. It's a crazy feeling, but I know I'm not scared anymore. I am ready. Let this journey begin. Bring on the man, I am ready to find love,' Joan said
'It was such a good lesson,' the starlet added. And she found it easy to talk about her late husband with her potential suitors on the show.
She admitted: 'You're trying to establish a relationship with somebody else, you don't want to talk about your deceased spouse, but keeping his memory alive didn't seem like I was being weird.
'I felt comfortable finally doing it. I talked about how funny he was and stuff like that, and I feel like the guys really appreciated that.'
And she likes to recount her memories of her late husband to pay tribute to him.
'Putting his name on a bench or planting a tree, none of these things are good enough. So I said, you know what I think he would like the most? Is that you don't forget him. Tell me stories. It doesn't hurt me anymore; it makes me happy,' she explained.
Nonetheless, Joan feels that starring on The Golden Bachelorette 'cured' her and was her therapy.
'[The show] cured me,' she shared. 'This journey made me open to love. And I figured it out partway through the journey that I really wasn't there when I came, but I got there.'
Joan is the first Golden Bachelorette in franchise history after vying for Gerry Turner's heart on the very first season of The Golden Bachelor last year.
