Cowboys Are a Mess Despite Wild Win, but They’re Still America’s Team

Despite a wild win Sunday for the Dallas Cowboys, America’s Team remains America’s Mess. The Cowboys ended a five-game losing streak — the team’s longest losing streak since 2015 — with a 34-26 win over the Washington Commanders that featured a cacophony of special teams miscues from both squads.

Still, Dallas is 4-7 and faces an uphill battle to avoid its first losing season since 2020.

Things can’t get much worse for the Cowboys. Quarterback Dak Prescott signed a record-setting contract just as the season began, then suffered a season-ending injury eight games in. Head coach Mike McCarthy’s contract is up after the season and absolutely nobody expects him to be back in 2025. While McCarthy is the lamest of lame ducks, there’s been more chatter about who will replace him than there’s been about how the team can win now.

There’s even been rumblings in the media that Dallas is no longer America’s Team — that the Cowboys are no longer relevant.

As Homer Simpson would say, D’oh! (More about Homer in a few.)

Sure, these aren’t Roger Staubach’s Cowboys or Troy Aikman’s Cowboys. And for the remainder of this season, they’re Cooper Rush’s Cowboys. We’ve already heard the snarky comments about a Thanksgiving matchup that pits Rush against the Giants’ Tommy DeVito. Talk about a Turkey Bowl.

Well guess what? We’ll still be watching.

The Cowboys have already played four prime-time games this season, and after hosting the second game on Thanksgiving Day, they’ve got two more night games — hosting the Cincinnati Bengals on Monday night in Week 14 and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Sunday night in Week 16.

On paper, that Bengals-Cowboys Monday night game is a bit of a clunker. Both teams head into Week 13 with 4-7 records, so there certainly won’t be any playoff drama. Did someone say, “Flex?”

No, actually nobody did.

For starters, the Bengals-Cowboys game is set to feature an alternate viewing presentation called “The Simpsons Funday Football.” The real-time animation broadcast will stream on Disney+ and ESPN+ with players transformed into characters from “The Simpsons.”For the record, Bart will be siding with the Bengals while Homer sides with the Cowboys. Which feels right.